one_long_mission

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He's a wanderer.

Ever since the traumatic day when everything was taken from him, he's been a wanderer. Nothing more, nothing less. A shinobi? Only in the barest terms. A crimson band of cloth covers the ruin of his sockets, hiding the shame from the world; his memories of receiving basic medical care from a civilian village are fogged by the fever that ravaged him during those days.

Ever since then, he's wandered. Slowly learning to survive, slowly adapting, he now moves with some trace of his old grace and confidence, as though he has some perception of the world beyond the reach of his hands. The snakes have taught him, and experience, the slow and bitter sensei, has taught him.

But he will never again be what he once was.

He's entering another village, he knows that; where it is, what its name is, he doesn't know. Doesn't entirely care. Perhaps they'll feed him, perhaps he can trade some manual labor for a few coins, and then move on again. That's all he can hope for anymore.

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Inside the Uchiha house, there was a door on the first floor that was slightly ajar.

Sasuke may not have been able to see, but the room reeked of sickness cloaked in disinfectant. There was little sound to drown soft wheezes and dripping medicines. The chakra from the man inside was familiar, but so very faint. No doubt about it - It was the oldest Itachi, the one Mikoto had mentioned.

The scent told him, more keenly than his flickering chakra, exactly what sort of room he was in. But he was in the Uchiha home, and more importantly, Mikoto had told him exactly who they had that was this ill.

Itachi.

Itachi was in there, an Itachi, and a part of Sasuke wanted to do nothing more than flee, to run far, far away from any incarnation of his tormentor.

But something held him glued, and no doubt, the constant flickers of chakra that he put out, building the shapes of the world around him by jutsu, would be notable to someone as attentive and powerful as Itachi, no matter how subtle Sasuke tried to be.

Itachi watched him silently, nervously, until his breath hitched.

This was Sasuke, no doubt about it. But it was a Sasuke that he'd never seen before. With his sharingan active, he could see something strange in his chakra. The pools of chakra that he'd come to recognize as sharingan... something was so very wrong with them. It was like they were... broken... If not missing entirely... And the jutsu he was using...

Itachi's voice was soft, a bit pained. But it was filled with concern for this new incarnation of his little brother.

"Sasuke... What... what on earth... happened to you?"

That voice was a million miles from the last tones Sasuke had heard from his brother -- from the mad ranting, the cold, heartless revelation of truths that had torn the guts from his world.

But it was still Itachi, and a ferocious need to either attack or flee gripped Sasuke by the throat, stilling his voice for a long moment before he could make himself speak.

"What do you think?" Harsh words, flung into the medicine-scented room. "It should be obvious, if you look at me." Bitter weight on look, coming from the blind teen.

Itachi sat up a little straighter, squinting his eyes. He could make out the muted splash of red against white skin and black hair. At first, he thought it was a headband, but no... it was some sort of blindfold? Or bandage? He couldn't tell.

"... I'm afraid my eyes... aren't what they used to be..." he whispered. Years of using the mangekyo sharingan came at a high cost. And his illness only accelerated and worsened the damage. "Can you... come closer? Please?"

Itachi had no way of knowing -- or did he, perhaps, seeing what was missing from Sasuke -- just how poorly those words struck.

"Your eyes?" It was a venomous hiss -- and in anger, Sasuke did indeed take a few steps into the room, but it was with a crackling fury, his chakra flickering through the room more heavily, a tingle like static in the air. "Your eyes? I thought you'd already resolved that little difficulty!"

He'd been told about the differences, but in that moment, confronting Itachi with such a poorly-chosen remark on his lips, he couldn't remember the truth of it -- all that mattered was that this was Itachi, and Itachi had stolen Sasuke's eyes to replace his own. It was all he could know, a haze of tingling anger filling his mind.

His eyes... dear god...

"What kind of... of world are you from?" he gasped, wishing he had the strength to stand, to walk even a couple of feet to hold Sasuke and never let him go. "Stealing your eyes... was a lie... an illusion... to make you hate me enough... that you would one day kill me and take mine! Not... not the other way around!"

"Does this look like an illusion?" The words were a snap, and under them, agony. What was Itachi saying -- what was he trying to tell Sasuke? That... that he hadn't intended to? Oh no, no, he wasn't going to believe that. Not when those cold, mocking words had surrounded him in his agony of darkness. Apathetic, condescending, mocking everything Sasuke had based his life around...

"I made mistakes, yes. Many... many mistakes. But please... I... could never do that to you..." he whispered, motioning Sasuke closer. "You're my little brother... I... I would give my life for you..."

Sasuke didn't move. Bad enough he was in the room, if even just in the doorway. "Why should I believe you?" The words were bitter. "I've seen nothing to convince me of that since I was a child."

But even then, some traitorous part of his heart wanted those soft words to be true. Wanted Itachi's approval, his love... always would. Even if he had been forced to believe that it never existed.

"I... I understand... if you don't believe me... don't trust me... I don't know what world you're from... or what... what terrible version of me you were forced to endure..."

(And up to this point, Itachi had thought, especially compared to the one who became Hokage, that he was the Itachi who had gotten everything wrong. Apparently, some were far, far worse.)

"...But to me, you're Sasuke. You're my little brother... You're safe here."

He would have given anything for the strength to climb out of bed and just embrace him. But he couldn't. And even trying made him almost pass out. All he could do was wait for Sasuke to choose to approach him.

Despite himself, despite all his anger, all the bitter hatred and rage that Sasuke couldn't contain, he couldn't help hearing the gasping breathlessness in Itachi's voice, the weakness. He shouldn't be there, shouldn't be listening to this, shouldn't be engaging at all. He should just turn around, walk away, leave this room or this house or this village, just get away.

But he couldn't. Something held him rooted.

"Safe?" The word was dark. "There isn't any 'safe' anymore." He had nothing left for anyone to take from him, nothing that anyone could want of him. His only safety was in having nothing left to lose.

Sasuke was wrong about that. He did have something to lose - his anger, his rage, his revenge...

"Sasuke... If I could take all... all the pain you went through away... I would... But... I can't..." he whispered, his voice weak and tired. "All I can do... is welcome you home... This place... Mother... Father... you... me... it's everything we both ever wanted... Please, let me be a good big brother this time..."

"How can I believe you?" he asked, fingers clenching on the doorframe. "Everything was a lie before -- what's to say it isn't again? Why should I trust you?" Because he wanted to -- sweet gods, he wanted to. Craved the lie, the loving big brother, with all his heart. But that had been nothing more than a trick, nothing more than a ploy to ensure his compliance.

He couldn't go through that again. "Give me one reason to believe that you're telling me the truth this time."

Itachi sighed. He would do anything for Sasuke. Anything!

"I... I would offer you my eyes... but they've degraded as much from my illness... as they have from the mangekyo... I'm not going to burden you... with that. But I... I have a crow... with a sharingan in it. Shisui entrusted it to me... his last remaining eye... before it could be taken from him... I can... give it to you..."

Seeing... that would be believing, wouldn't it?

Unfortunately, he couldn't muster the chakra to summon the crow. He tried, he poured everything he could into it, but fell back onto the bed, on the verge of passing out. His body was just far too weak.

"I'm sorry, Sasuke... Maybe... maybe later... I'm... sorry..."

The surge of summoning chakra made Sasuke flinch back, almost ready to retreat entirely -- he could not let himself believe Itachi's words entirely, not when Itachi had so thoroughly fooled him before. No, he didn't dare believe -- not in the offer, not in the affection, and not even fully in Itachi's apparent weakness.

"If your eyes are failing, why don't you take it for yourself?" he asked sharply, seeking some kind of logic, something rational and understandable. Self-interest was the only thing he could truly understand anymore.

Itachi didn't move. He was far too exhausted for that. But he did answer.

"Because... I honestly expected to die, for you to kill me... It wouldn't have mattered. Coming here... changed a great deal of that. And the other eye... One day... I feared you might need it too." He whispered. "This just... wasn't how I ever wanted to imagine it."

Self interest? Itachi doesn't know the meaning of that word, especially where Sasuke is concerned.

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I can't help myself. I want to hug him!!!

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