[Open] Where do the dead go when they die?

[screw_fate]

This isn't what he expected.

Neji stands at the outskirts of a village, one he's never seen before, and tries to trace the moments that brought him here. The battlefield, Hinata's suicidal move to protect Naruto, his own moments later to protect them both... The stunning, numbing pain as his body was pierced. Naruto supporting him, holding him up, as he gasped out a few soft words...

And then darkness, and an almost-unfelt flare of pain in his eyes as the seal did its ugly work.

But now, there is no evidence of it. He wears the uniform of the allied army, and it is clean, untorn, unstained. His body is whole, with no pain or weariness.

He can see.

The seal still sits on his forehead, a quiet but tangible presence, a gentle pulse that doesn't quite match up with his heartbeat. Foreign, but for short times, forgettable. It's there, as though he's never died to trigger it.

What happened?

He gains nothing by standing here. Slowly, still feeling a floating sense of unreality as though his feet don't truly touch the ground, he steps forward.

Where am I?

Perhaps there will be answers. Or perhaps this is what death is. His fingers rise to touch his forehead, covered by his hitai-ate, manji pulsing beneath. Is even death not an escape, then?

Who knows?

He enters the village, silent and wondering.

Comments

[screw_fate]

What he left behind. Everything, he wanted to say, and at the same time, nothing. His family, his team, his companions, their entire world at stake in a battle he no longer had any part in.

But Lee didn't know any of this, and Neji decided it was not yet time to enlighten him. But he could not summon more energy or enthusiasm. His body still remembered the pain of impalement too keenly.

"You're the optimistic one," he countered instead. "That isn't my job."

[endeavorbeyondgenius]

He huffed and looked over at him. "Then I must be sure to be positive for the both of us! We cannot let our youthful fires fade!"

Admittedly, Neji seemed even more upset than he was used to, so this might take some work, but he was in no way unwilling to try!

[screw_fate]

The words slipped from Neji's mouth before he had time to give them proper thought. "It's too late for that." He regretted them as soon as they emerged; he had not intended to mention this to Lee, certainly not nearly this soon, but there it was.

Although fade might not be the correct word.

[endeavorbeyondgenius]

That quieted him, and he looked over, peering at him for a very long moment. "But Neji, there is no way it could be too late! What weighs down your heart?"

[screw_fate]

Damn it. "Nothing," Neji said with a sigh, doubting he would get anywhere with Lee but hoping. Hoping he wouldn't have to get into this yet. "Don't worry about it. Let's just get something to eat." Because how would Lee respond...

How was Lee responding, his own Lee, his own age, back on that battlefield that he had now left? Or Tenten, for that matter? It was the first time the thought had really come to him, and it made him feel sick -- any urge to eat again vanished. It had taken him this long to think of his teammates, and the thought of what it would do to them to see him choose death...

Gods. No, he had no appetite now.

[endeavorbeyondgenius]

He wasn't that oblivious Neji! He shook his head, leaning over the table and putting his hand on his arm. "You have no need to hide your sorrows from me. Please?"

[screw_fate]

"It isn't my sorrow," Neji said automatically; it wasn't quite true, as he was (at least seemingly) alive, and certainly experiencing quite a bit of emotional conflict over the entire thing, but the point remained. "In fact, if anything, much the opposite. It's anyone's but mine."

[endeavorbeyondgenius]

"In that case there is no harm in telling me as it is something I should know int he first place." He peered at him. "You do not need to carry it alone."

[screw_fate]

"It isn't something you should know," Neji denied firmly, shaking his head. "Not yet. And I would prefer not ever." Because now that he had thought of it -- now that he'd realized that his act, intended to protect those he cared about, would be a terrible wound to other people who mattered just as deeply -- he couldn't stop turning the anger on himself, and felt a burning need to protect at least this Lee, if not the one he'd seen so recently on the battlefield, from pain.

[endeavorbeyondgenius]

"Neji... it is possible it will be something I hear from someone else, you are aware of this, are you not? There was a rather intense issue upon Hinata-san's arrival that centered around Neji, though I missed most of the details as I was out training."

[screw_fate]

Those words made Neji pause. An intense issue? There were a few different things that could be... "And... what time is Hinata-sama from?" he asked carefully, wrapping his head at least far enough around that concept to know it needed to be asked. Was it going to be Hinata from the battlefield, or Hinata from the chuunin exams -- or perhaps a different Hinata entirely with a very different experience?

[endeavorbeyondgenius]

"Her Hitai-ate is like yours." He peered at him intently. "I did not feel it right to ask Hinata-san what had happened, but whatever it was left a very upset air on all involved for a time." He hesitated a moment. "Sakura-san had similar troubles for the span of time where she lived in Mikoto-san's house."

[screw_fate]

Well, that answered that question. Hinata from the war, and with Lee's description of the occurrence...

No, Lee was right. If Neji did not tell him, sooner or later someone else would. He played the scenario out in his mind. They would spend a time here, being teammates, Lee knowing that something was wrong but not knowing what. Not knowing how gravely wrong it was.

And then finding out. Perhaps from a new arrival, perhaps from a slip of Neji's tongue, perhaps from giving in to curiosity and asking Hinata. Whatever way, he would eventually find out. And then...?

Would he be hurt? Would it be a betrayal to him, that Neji did not tell him? Would he feel that he could no longer trust Neji, because that had been kept from him? Or would he understand Neji's quiet but profound lack of ease with his own end, the desire not to spread that knowledge?

He studies Lee intently, his expression masked, carefully blank as he weighed the options. Gai had always taught them to lean on their teammates before anyone else, and while Neji had wanted to never lean on anyone... well.

Well.

He took a long, slow breath, and then said quietly, "I will tell you when I can, Lee. But right now... I cannot." Right now, he needed more time to settle himself in his own head, more time to be the solid one, the unshakeable, before he had to weather the storm of Lee's inevitable emotions. Right now, Lee could uproot him like a weed and blow him away.

[endeavorbeyondgenius]

The look he gave him was rather searching, staring him down for several beats as he just studied him, taking in his tension, the way his shoulders were set. At the end of that he reached over, resting his hand on his arm, meeting his eyes. "I trust you Neji, and I believe you will tell me what I need to know."

[screw_fate]

"Thank you." Neji bowed his head gravely, a little -- but only a little -- of the tension draining out of him. He had bought himself a little time to come to grips with what had happened. No more than that, although perhaps that was all he would need. Until he had more time to settle, he would not know. Which was not a comfortable feeling, really, but it was one he could accept. The future was what it was; he was perhaps set a little outside of it now, by embracing his own death. What was supposed to come after, anyway?

"I will... not keep you waiting long," he added, hoping it would prove to be true -- no, committing himself to make it true, even if it meant pushing his comfort. Lee was his teammate. He deserved to hear it from Neji.

[endeavorbeyondgenius]

He squeezed his arm, then gave him a brilliant smile, wanting to reassure him, because it was clear the other teen was less than perfectly at peace with whatever was on his mind. "You are my treasured teammate Neji, and I can wait as long as you need me to so long as you find your way back to happiness."

[screw_fate]

Find his way back to happiness? Trust Lee to put it like that. The corner of Neji's mouth lifted just a little, and he murmured, "Well, I suppose I have the opportunity, don't I?"

Being here, wherever here actually was -- it was better than oblivion, at least.

And his team was here. That was something.

[endeavorbeyondgenius]

"You do! I would be most happy if you took full advantage of the chance to be free and spirited that this place offers! In your very own way of course!" His smile turned a bit more playful. "I do not doubt that such a thing is possible, even if it is just to drink more tea."

[screw_fate]

"Free and spirited?" Neji found himself pulled into something that was a familiar, relieving pattern, repeating the words in a dry, half-mocking tone. "Have you forgotten who I am, Lee?" Old ground, this, patterns of teammate-ship formed from their earliest days; ferocious at first, but now friendly teasing.

[endeavorbeyondgenius]

"I have not! You are Neji, my most glorious teammate who is exuberant and youthful in his very quiet and focused way! Free and spirited need not be clear to my view when you know that it is so within your heart!" If anything, his smile got more playful, and he clasped his shoulder.

[screw_fate]

Neji would be forced to become a recluse out of sheer embarrassment if it ever became known, but over the years, Lee's attitude -- predictable as it often was -- had become an enormous comfort to him. Lee could always be relied upon to be Lee, to be confident and spirited no matter the circumstances. As Neji had struggled to alter his fatalistic viewpoints, Lee had been... well, something almost of an inspiration.

"I doubt that 'exuberant' could ever be applied to me as a descriptor," he pointed out. "Internally or not."

[endeavorbeyondgenius]

He paused, then cleared his throat as something came to mind, and he turned a little pink. Shaking his head quickly to clear it, because of all times, remembering walking in on that particular moment was not what he should be thinking about right this second. He had to reassure Neji that he was not lacking in this way!

"I assure you that I know that you are more than capable of living up to such a word Neji, you have but to find it within yourself to do so!"

[screw_fate]

The flush of color in Lee's face made Neji's eyebrow creep up dubiously; whatever Lee was thinking of, he was pretty certain he didn't want to know about it. (Although maybe it would be interesting~ a quiet little voice in the back of his mind whispered. He quashed it as he routinely did.)

"Find it within myself? And why should I wish to do any such thing?" he asked calmly. "You produce quite enough exuberance to fulfill our entire team, all on your own."

[endeavorbeyondgenius]

Well that declaration soundly derailed his thoughts, and he gave his teammate the most brilliant smile yet. "NEJI! You allow yourself to be filled by my youthful exuberance?! You flatter me!"

[screw_fate]

"Do I look like I'm 'filled' with any such thing?" The look Neji shot him was aggrieved and exasperated, but even still, this was a better turn of conversation.