Heartbroken? Open to all but heroscomeback)

[twinlionfists]

Naruto-kun had been in Michi no Sato for a few days now, and while after their first talk they'd shared many more, it still felt awkward and painful to be around him.

No matter that he'd said, and she understood, that he needed time to adjust to being away from the fighting and other things that had occurred back home, her heart was still heavy.

She didn't know how to talk to anyone about it. Would it be proper? Who would understand? Could she do it?

Lost in thought, she sat down in the dojo of Mikoto-san's house with the intent to meditate and clear her head, but it wasn't really working after an hour.

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[twinlionfists]

She looked away. "Never. Neji-nii-san, I know that I cannot give up. That I must protect what is precious to me, always. It is because of Naruto-kun that I have this way of thinking, this way of doing, to be better. Yet, somehow, I feel as if I will be waiting for the end of time for what I really want and I become discouraged."

[openedthebasket]

"Is it really worth the wait...?" He opened his eyes and focused on her again, his expression almost... open, as it were, his attempt at expressing himself without the kind of control expected of a Branch Family member. Can she afford to wait, with war already in her future. If he had already given his life for her, who would be next? Hinata-sama herself?

His tone firmed as he looked to her. "Naruto broke me from my own narrow way of thinking. Perhaps... as difficult as it seems... you might learn to cherish him as a comrade, and give your love to another."

[twinlionfists]

"Do you really think that it is so simple, Neji-nii-san? That I could just step back and try to be with someone else? Wouldn't my love just be cheap and illusionary then?"

[openedthebasket]

"With time, perhaps," he could only answer, though he huffed an unamused laugh through his nose and shook his head. "Though I am certainly one to talk. You know as well as I that in these matters, I am... rather unskilled."

[twinlionfists]

She could sense her cousin's anguish, but he was the only person she could think of who would truly understand her feelings. "Do you...do you think that I'm foolish to...give Naruto-kun time to sort his feelings out?"

[openedthebasket]

His eyes slid closed again as he gave her words careful consideration. Choosing the right word, instead of the hasty one. "I believe," he said finally, opening his eyes to meet hers, "That a short period of time should be sufficient. More than that is..." His eyes slid closed again as he slowly shook his head.

"In terms of time... it is finite," he finished quietly, his own head bowed. In terms of this place, in terms of his own life... Knowing one of them had a definite, unavoidable end made it all the clearer. "And should not be wasted."

[twinlionfists]

"How...h-how..." She couldn't ask that, could she? "How did you know that Naruto-chan was who you wanted?"

"I find myself confused and angry and discouraged and... but when I am with him? It's soft and warm, but also sad."

"Sometimes, it feels as if I am physically in pain."

She slid her eyes closed, a little horrified by how much she was revealing.

"But I don't know if I'm ready to let that go, Neji-nii-san."

[openedthebasket]

Again, his eyes closed. Anyone else, and he would clam up, refuse to answer, or dismiss it with a huff of annoyance. To Hinata-sama... he owed her an answer, meager as it was. In spite of himself, the smallest of smiles found his lips at the thought of her. "She wanted me," he answered simply, hands relaxing atop his thighs. "She saw me as someone more than just the Hyuuga genius. She is... responsible for the person I am today, in much the same way that he is."

A breath of hesitation as he chose how to phrase it without revealing too much. "Not long after my arrival here, I had a... rather serious disagreement with Tenten. Naruto remained there for me, when I had..." His lips quirked in a self-depreciating smile. "I believe Tenten would say I acted like a jerk. Naruto stayed with me in spite of that, in spite of... many things."

He opened his eyes to look to his cousin. "It is, of course, your decision... but if he does not return your feelings, why should you spend any further of your precious time on such an endeavor?"

[twinlionfists]

Hinata smiled at his story. She knew many of her cousin's faults and could imagine him fighting with Tenten, even though they were good friends. "Naruto-kun doesn't really give up on his friends. I believe that you two bonded on that mission to retrieve Sasuke-kun," she said softly. "I find that I am a little jealous of you."

She covered her mouth in shock, not having intended to say that aloud. However, she wouldn't take it back. If he was being honest with her, she could only do the same.

"I will give him time," she replied finally, quietly, almost as a whisper. "But, if it becomes hopeless, I will not continue to pin away. If he tells me that I can be nothing to him but a friend, then I will move on. It will hurt, but I..." She choked back a small sob. "I will not become a disgrace to the Hyuuga clan, nor will I allow myself to be used so ill."

[openedthebasket]

"We very well may have," he conceded with a small nod, smile fading at the thought of that failed mission. "It was my honor that I was invited with them to lend my assistance, though in the past I had offered them nothing but harsh words and pain."

He only inclined his head at her admission of jealousy; it hurt, but he understood. If anyone had the right to envy his position, it was her, even if... once they returned home, she was the one who had a future.

Instead, at the sound of her choking back a sob, he opened his eyes and reached forward, lightly touching his fingers to her shoulder as a small kind of comfort, the kind he'd gotten better at offering since his relationship with his own Naruto. "It will hurt," he confirmed, seeing no reason to give her any kind of false hope or lies. "But you will emerge the stronger for it, Hinata-sama. I have faith that you will make the right decision."

[twinlionfists]

She gave him a small smile. "You know intimately of Naruto's kind, forgiving nature. Once he understood you, you were his friend."

She brushed her hand down his forearm before placing it back in her lap, grateful for the touch he was offering her even while refusing to soften the truth of the situation. "I can only hope so, Neji-nii-san."

She closed her eyes again, and soaked up the contact of someone who cared for her back.

[openedthebasket]

He only inclined his head in acknowledgement, shifting back rest more comfortably back on his heels, fingertips on her knee. "Whatever you need from me, Hinata-sama, you need to but ask," he added softly.

[twinlionfists]

She gave him a smile that was only a little sad. "Shall we practice? I can't just sit around, right?"

[openedthebasket]

One of his rare, contented smiles crossed his face, and he pushed himself to his feet in a motion as easy as breathing. "It would be my honor."