Someone just got more than they bargained for

[itachi_san]

Itachi wasn't sure where that piece of paper came from. Maybe Sasuke brought it with that stick of dango...

But it had some strange properties, that's for sure. And someone else was about to get the very short end of the stick.

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[sarutobiskid]

Asuma was not happy when a piece of blue paper knocked his smoke from his lips. Granted, he hadn't been holding onto it all that well, but dammit, it was the first one out of the new pack. He snatched the paper and stared at it before he blinked and found himself in a sick room, with IVs sticking out of him and pain so great he probably should have been dead.

[itachi_san]

The sudden change flew through Itachi's mind in this order:

1. He was standing.
2. He was outside.
3. He could see said outside.
4. He felt... WELL!
5. This had to be a dream.
6. This... was not a dream...
7. And he wasn't himself.

Fortunately, he recognized where he was. (at least, he thought he recognized it. Things looked very different when he could actually see them clearly.) He was outside the Uchiha house. And he wasted absolutely no time rushing back inside toward his room.

Before he got there, he did catch a glimpse of 'himself' in the mirror. He was... he had seen that shinobi before... three or four years earlier. He couldn't remember the man's name though...

[sarutobiskid]

He could hear someone moving around, but his vision was so dim that it was nearly impossible to see anything but a blurry, dark image. "Who-who's there?" he croaked in a voice that was decidedly not his own.

[itachi_san]

At first, Itachi couldn't even answer. He couldn't even remember the last time he saw his own face clearly. And to see it... like that staring back at him... He had grown so gaunt, so sick, he barely recognized himself. Needless to say, it took him a minute to compose his thoughts.

"It's you. Or... me." Itachi stuttered in a voice that certainly wasn't his own. "Itachi. Itachi Uchiha. I'm somehow in your body. And you're in mine."

Exactly who's body that was, though, he wasn't sure.

[sarutobiskid]

He tried to growl, but Uchiha's body was so deteriorated that he began coughing with horrible pain lancing through his chest and affecting his breathing.

"Asuma. Sarutobi Asuma, you ass."

[itachi_san]

Well, that answered that question. Kind of.

"I assure you, I didn't do anything to have caused this." He bit his lip, kneeling down next to the bed. If he was closer, he knew the other man would be able to see him a little clearer. "I don't even know what happened."

He heard the coughing, and put a cautious hand on his (own?) shoulder. "Easy, there. Shallow breaths... hurt less."

[sarutobiskid]

He figured the other man would know his body pretty well and listened to what he was saying. He took shallow breaths and nearly immediately the pain lessened.

"Didn't think you did this, but it fucking feels shitty enough to be one of your buddy's tricks."

[itachi_san]

"If by buddy, you mean another Akatsuki, you're likely mistaken." he sighed gently. "That organization doesn't exist here. And I am not your enemy."

Unfortunately, given the unpredictability of this place, he couldn't tell if it was caused by a natural phenomenon, some kind of jutsu, a magic spell... it could be anything. His eyes fell. He wanted to comfort the man now trapped inside his wasted form.

"...I never was."

[sarutobiskid]

"Really," Asuma said with a dry, scathing tone that he was sure would have come across so much better with his own body and his own voice. "Well, you could have fooled me there, Itachi-kun. Kakashi was laid up for a week after your little trick. If Gai hadn't gotten there when he did, there's no telling how long it would have been."

He let a hard edge creep into the sick man's voice. "And your partner could have killed Kurenai. Whether the two of you were friends or not doesn't matter."

[itachi_san]

"All shinobi do what they must. I am no exception." Itachi replied thoughtfully. "I did what I needed to do, until I could get my partner to stand down. Kakashi was merely incapacitated. No lives were lost... They never are, if I can help it."

[sarutobiskid]

"I find that a little hard to believe, Uchiha Itachi," he said before coughing again. "I swear, if I get back to my body, I'm never smoking again. Why are you like this? When I saw you, you were fine..."

[itachi_san]

Asuma would believe waht he chose to believe. After all, it's what Itachi himself conditioned everyone to believe. But in the end, very little was what it seemed.

"You know that people come here from all different times and places... It is likely that, for me, a good three years have passed since you last saw me. In that time, I fell ill." It was an understatement, really. And he could almost hear the other man thinking about karma. "...This is merely the result of that... And of personal missions that require me to live, even now..."

[sarutobiskid]

God, how did this jerk even find the energy to breathe, let alone live. Everything hurt, he couldn't breathe properly, couldn't see properly, barely had the energy to open his eyes, let alone lift any limbs. If it had been Asuma, he would have asked a medic to put him out of his mercy.

Of course, he doubt Tsunade-sama had much mercy, but even she would have done as he asked.

"Yeah, Ino-chan told me how this place works." He closed his nearly useless eyes as a sharp stab of pain went through him, despite the drugs in his system. "Sit down. Hurts my neck to look up."

[heroscomeback]

Ramen, ramen! Ramen was the greaaaaatest thing ever! That shop wasn't Ichiraku, but he got used to it, cause really, nothing could ever beat Ichiraku! He was happily slurping at his noodles when a piece of paper flew in from the open window.

He caught it between the fingers of a free hand before it went into his meal...
..and then? Things got pretty much worse!

[itachi_san]

Itachi looked down into the ramen bowl that he suddenly found in front of him. The satisfaction that it seemed to bring him meant one thing and one thing only - he was in the body of an Uzumaki. Naruto Uzumaki.

How could the boy actually stomach that stuff?

Itachi reached into his (Naruto's) pocket, and paid for lunch before making his way back to the Uchiha house as quickly as possible. It was the safest thing to do, after all, in a situation like this.

After all, there was no telling what Naruto would try to do in his body in the meantime.

[heroscomeback]

This... okay, where was his ramen? No wait, first it looked like he needed all his focus to breathe correctly! Where was all that hurt coming from, and those things into him? He could recognize a few baubles around him from time spent in hospitals, but this looked more like someone's room =plus= a minature hospital.

"..oh maan.. this is bad..." the voice sounded so weak to his ears. He recalled something like it, but.. whose? Those hands were so frail...
...and.. wow, stuff started getting blurry so fast. He'd only strained a half-minute to look around! "...hell izzat..." he groaned, deciding it may be best to close his eyes for now. maybe he should go back to sleep? This -had- to be a nightmare!

[itachi_san]

When Itachi did make it back to his room, he was very relieved to see himself, so to speak, attempting to sleep. In this body, he had almost a boundless supply of energy, so he didn't know what Naurto would try.

He knelt by the edge of the bed, and put a hand very gently on his shoulder.

"Are you all right, there?"

[heroscomeback]

"..uh.. s'me..." he muttered, eyelids fluttering open... before closing again. He knew the voice, but could only see a mass of something hella blurry. "Yeah.. ahah... m'peachy~"

Understatement, huge lie.
"Okay..not... what even..happened?"

[itachi_san]

"Some kind of body swapping... effect." Itachi wasn't sure exactly what it was either. But this wasn't the first time that it happened to him. "It's temporary, though."

He leaned in closer, hoping that would help Naruto see him a little better. But without sharingan on, it was likely to be hit or miss.

"It's me. Itachi." he eventually continued. "I'm in your body, and you're in mine."

[heroscomeback]

"Ita..chi..." when was Itachi this weak? This sick? Itachi was the guy who'd trapped him in that damned genjutsu, and had annoying crows! "..so..why're you.. here?" he mumured, eyes opening halfway.

If this really was the body Itachi was stuck in... then... "You should take that time.... to just... do stuff you can't do with this body... yeah?" he gave a laugh that was more a cough. "I mean... you don't look or... feel that great..."

[itachi_san]

"I guess I've seen better days, Naruto." he replied before really realizing what the Uzumaki boy had said. And once he realized it, he didn't quite know what to make of it. "You... want me to... But you're..."

[heroscomeback]

"Yeah... I want you to.. go out and.. do stuff... whatever you want." he had to frequently pause to breathe in. "Sorry... if you gotta not look like yourself... but... yaknow, if this thing... has a time limit, then... you should make use of it... all you can."

He didn't have the kyuubi's lifeforce holding him, but he had his undying willpower.
The worst might be that he wasn't craving ramen right now...

"..so.. yeah. What're you doin here... Itachi?" after all, if there were things this confined sickly man wished to do, helping him do them would be a good action. It did not even feel like the man was any threat. Not in this body. There was no akatsuki here anyways.

[itachi_san]

He could hardly believe that Naruto was serious. He was willing to lie there, probably in agony, so that Itachi could... go... do things?! He even questioned it again, just to make sure he wasn't delusional.

"... th..thank you..."

Now, what did he actually want more than anything else? What would he most want to do in the precious time he had in a healthy body with pretty much unlimited chakra and resources?

So simple, really.

He wanted to see Sasuke's face. Clearly. Without sharingan.

[heroscomeback]

There was a faint smile, but it -was- there.

"Yaknow, Itachi.... m'gonna be Hokage." he paused because he had to. "A Hokage, does whatever's best... for his people.. and that's the best.. for you." he forced a hand to rise, slowly in a limpy salute. "Now go~"

[itachi_san]

Itachi, in Naruto's body, stood up and gently touched his own face. "Try to sleep, for now. I'll take care of your body, while I'm in it." he assured him.

And he literally ran off, as fast as his feet could carry him. He might have hours like this, or he might only have a few minutes. So he had to find Sasuke. Fast.