one_long_mission | (no subject)

[ Whoops-a-daisy. Looks like someone suddenly cannot hear. He's in a restaurant, trying to figure out where he can order a burger and fries, talking way too loud at the manager. ]

I'M SORRY! CAN YOU HEAR ME?! I NEED TO KNOW WHERE I CAN GET A BURGER AND FRIES. LIKE AT MCDONALD'S! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS? YOU GOTTA KNOW! IT WAS HERE BEFORE THE SECOND WORLD WAR-- IN THE 1940'S. IT'S BIG AND RED WITH A BIG YELLOW M! SIMPLE M! IT LOOKS LIKE THIS!

[ He draws said 'm' in the air with his finger, but good grief, he can't hear a thing! He can't even hear himself! He doesn't even know if he's speaking English anymore. Oh no; that reminds him of something. ]

DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?! HELLOOO! I NEED. TO FIND. BURGERS. HAMBURGERS. IT'S-- IT'S A MEAT PATTY BETWEEN TWO BUNS AND SOMETIMES YOU GET CHEESE IN IT. AND POTATOES. DEEP FRIED POTATO CHIPS.

[ Apparently one of the employees recognizes potatoes and happens to hold up a few for Shisui to see. At that, Shisui nods excitedly, beaming because somebody understands! ]

YES! YES, POTATOES!

[ Except the manager is now telling his employee to bag a few potatoes and put it on Shisui's bill. He takes it back. Nobody gets it! ]

NO, NO I DON'T WANT YOUR POTATOES! NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PLACE?!

DO YOU KNOW COCA-COLA??

[ Halp |: ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ He better not be wearing girly clothes |: Put him in a tutu I dare you. ...Okay, thank goodness shinobi didn't wear tutus. ]

Aw. Watcha gonna cook 'Tachi nee-chan?

....Potatoes. [She was not thrilled she had to hunt for clothes Shisui! Then she swept him back into her arms and grabbed the bag to head downstairs.]

Only potatoes?

[ That sounded so bland. ]

I can help? [ Burn potatoes mwahahaha-- no, really. Can he help? ]

And rice. Cooking isn't my best skill, you did notice I usually don't, right? [She huffed a breath.]

I guess so, but no more fire in the house!

A-ah... How to cook without fire...? |8 [ ~~There's a hole in my bucket dear Lisa, dear Lisa~~ ]

Using the stove Shisui. No jutsu fire.

Okay! I can cut the potatoes? [ And all my fingers in the process, yes

And erg, what are these clothes? They're itchy. He's squirming. ]

[Shame you burned the soft ones then ISN'T IT SHISUI?]

...Have you even learned how to hold a real knife yet?

[ O M G Don't say that D: He was only aiming for the frog. The clothes got in the way. ]

Shishi can hold a kunai~? [ And this was true. But does this qualify? He can only throw a kunai without cutting himself. ]

[He can consider the itchy a punishment.]

I'll see if you do it well enough and if not you're doing something else okay? [And she'll hover over you to make sure you don't lose a hand.]

Okay! Yay! Gimme a knife!

[ Then get a good look at his little butt wiggling and squirming because whatever he's wearing feels awful on his tush. ]

[Oh the look she was giving you.] Are you alright?

Uh huh!

[ Oh you know, just sorta tending to that itch, and then touching the potatoes with that same hand |: ]

[She moved you and pointed you at the sink here kid.] Wash your hands, and the potatoes.

[ Okay, okay, he's washing up, splashing everywhere, and squirming again. He's trying his darndest not to itch but-- Here we go again. ]

Soap? [ On the potatoes. ]

Not on the food Shisui. [She made sure it was out of reach and stuck the lot in the sink.]

Wash.

[ He's happy washing, and making all the suds. He's even having fun with the bubbles till the uncomfortable itch starts up again and he's squirming once more. He knows now that she doesn't want him putting his hand there, so he doesn't, but-- but!

Oops, here comes the wibble, and a desperate little whimper. Maybe even tears of frustration as he looks up at her. ]

[What bubbles? she made sure the soap was well away from the food! You must mean the dirt on the potatoes.]

Shisui, it won't help if you can't tell me what's wrong.

[ That, or someone left unwashed dishes in there that were half filled with soapy water |: It's mostly dirt.

But this is the first time you get to see him actually cry. He doesn't do this often. Especially not in front of girls |: ]

Scwatchyyyy... [ SNIFF/HICCUP ]

[It worked out since she'd been rinsing them properly and setting them on the counter as they were finished up.]

What's scratchy?

Pants.

[ Can you not see the incessant butt wiggle like he was doing a reverse macarena? D: ]

I don' like these pants! [ It had a label in the wrong place :c ]

[She huffed a breath, then picked him up to head back upstairs.] Is that the issue mm?

Mm. [ Oh look, he's wiping his hands on your clothes, Itachi ]

I dun want pants.

[That she can totally ignore. Just water and stuff.]That's too bad, you don't get to cook in the kitchen without them.