one_long_mission | [OPEN~] Bollocks

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[OPEN~] Bollocks

Liuetenant Colonel Uchiha Shisui isn't sure what hit him, but the last thing he was staring at was the tail end of Group Captain Uchiha Itachi's Typhoon F2 (which was a pretty neat beauty, by the way) and then he had glanced down to sneak a peek at the Bermuda Triangle they were flying over. He had just joked about getting sucked into the Triangle and had been in the middle of a ghost story when this happened.

Except he doesn't know what this is.

His baby's down and she's burning, and Shisui scrambles to grab his canteen before she literally explodes.

With the explosion right behind him and just managing to escape, Shisui dives behind a rock to shield himself from the debris and choking air. And yet, amidst all this, he feels the urge to keep himself calm and sane by reaching over to his canteen and unscrewing the cap for a swig of bourbon.

Except, you know, it's drier than the Sahara in there.

He stares down into the empty vessel and clicks his tongue, tasting soot and dirt. "...This isn't even vaguely American, but I'm thinking it's relevant. BOLLOCKS!" What's the worst that could happen, though?

Hm. ...How about standing in unknown territory? No, really. Where was he?

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"Standard shinobi gear." He finally managed to get his shock under control and studied him carefully, tilting his head. "Was that your plane that just exploded?"

"What division of the RAF is 'Shinobi'?" It's not a question, and that might have been a laugh.

He's bleeding off his left ear, though, so he's rather deaf at the moment, managing to read the other's lips as well as strain to hear him say anything at all. "I dunno, you tell me. Where's your F2?" Shisui knows this isn't the Itachi he knows, especially not with that accent. Bringing his knees up closer to his chest, Shisui's free hand closes in around the grip of his M9, thumb moving quietly to unlock his weapon as silently as he possibly could. The racket behind them certainly helped mask the sounds of any metal clicking against metal.

His gaze flit to the movement of his hand immediately. So he was considering him a threat. How unfortunate. "I have no idea what either of those are, but if you attack me I will subdue you."

He tilted his head to the side, a slightly sad smile on his lips. "It's very good to see you alive Shisui, even if you're clearly not from my timeline. I could stop the bleeding for you, if you'd allow me close enough?"

Of course he was considering him a threat. 'Shinobi' and the lack of a sexy James Bond accent was enough to convince him that this most certainly wasn't the Itachi he was assigned to work with. Whoever this was was an imposter, and though he'd never really seen this kind of thing being used on a prisoner of war before, Shisui can only theorize that he's been drugged into hallucinating.

He kind of wished he could hallucinate his bourbon back into his canteen, though.

"Fair enough." --Though, he didn't lock his weapon. He was also trying not to laugh at how this was all starting to sound like an episode from Doctor Who. "You're telling me you were flying TARDIS over the Triangle?" Alright, he is chuckling. And woah, Shisui never realized he was bleeding. "I'm bleeding?"

'Where' would have been the next question, except that Shisui decided to forego it and look for injuries himself.

He moved forward with absolute grace on silent feet. Clearly he had more than his fair share of martial training, no matter what else he'd said. "Your ears. Hold still Shisui, okay? I can get the bleeding to stop but I'm no medic."

He carefully knelt, reaching one hand to the side of his face as he stayed cautious for retaliation. "And what are these items you're referencing? I am getting the sense your timeline is even more disparate than mine is from the primary one and I'm the only one I've met under my circumstances."

If anything, the way this version of Itachi walked wasn't too far from the way the Itachi he knew walked. Group Captain Uchiha Itachi was stealthier than an F22 Raptor even with boots on gravel or dry grass.

And Shisui did retaliate in one swift motion just as the 'fake' Itachi almost touched his face. There was a sharp blade held up beneath the other's chin near his trachea, not pressing into skin just yet but just-- there. Shisui didn't need a blade to sever a man's head - he could do it with his fingers - but this was just for precautionary measures. "It was just an explosion. I'll be fine."

Shisui does not take his eyes off the other man for a moment, the fact that he'd been given a somewhat sad smile at all only a moment ago still eating at his conscience and playing with his current state of mind. Where was the real Itachi?! "I'm talking about things the real Itachi would know. And you're not him. I'm not buying your bullshit about overlapping timelines, either." At least, not without substantial proof that it is so-- but he keeps that to himself. "So what's the name of the fancy drug you've got pumping through your prisoners of war, huh?"

He'd love to know.

"Ah, I see. Well, I can't say this is the first time I've been met with hostility." His voice took a wry tilt, but there was no fear in him, eyes staying a steady deep grey as he stayed perfectly still, watching him.

"I still can't say I like the sight of you bleeding from the ears though. Better than watching you die, I'll admit, but still far from pleasant. Would you at least allow me to halt that before we continue this conversation? We can fight after if you truly wish to. I'm curious to see if you're as fast as you were in my timeline."

There is no way that he noticed anything about the change in Itachi's tone or voice because he literally was quite deaf, his somewhat-good ear now ringing loud enough to drown any bit of sound he could have otherwise picked up. He had to read the other's lips and strain to his right ear to even try to understand what was being said. "Yeah. It's in the job description."

And wait, what? Watching him die? So it was a threat. Or, TARDIS was real. The lack of response, however, was probably Shisui's way of telling the other that it was okay to check his ears as long as he wasn't going to put a bullet in them. It didn't look like this version of Itachi carried a gun, though.

Shisui raises an eyebrow at what he makes out with the lip reading. "We're supposed to be on the same team. We don't fight." A beat. "We bicker." Like an old married couple, but you didn't hear him say that~

"You don't even spar? How.... strange. You were the only one who could ever keep up with me in the clan too." He sighed, reaching and very carefully feeding chakra to stop the bleeding as he rested his fingertips along his temple, though the effort left him feeling tired. Healing -really- wasn't one of his best skills, but he knew some, as all ANBU Captains were given the dubious joy of, so that was what he applied.

He pulled his hand back when he was sure there was no fresh blood coming from him anywhere. "What I meant about the hostility is that I'm not Hokage in the most common timeline so my people tend to prefer to attack me instead of talking. It does get old after a while, I'll admit."

This is Shisui, blinking as he tries to wrap his mind around the 'clan' part. How long ago was it since they'd grown out of the system of clans? He'd heard his grandparents talk about their family history once upon a time, but he'd never really given it too much thought. Either this guy was telling the truth about mixing up timelines (if that was even possible), or he was a really good actor. "Right. Spar. Only during training." As it was, he was on a very important mission at the moment, and there clearly was no time for play-fighting.

...He just needs to figure out where he is first in order to get back to whatever was left of his mission.

What makes him grit his teeth and press the edge of the blade further against the other's skin, however, was the fact that something weird was going on with regards to this whole healing thing. He didn't want to admit it, but it almost felt like magic-- and Shisui knew that magic wasn't real. There was always logic behind hocus pocus. Which is why he was already getting to his feet and attempting to put some distance between them, knife drawn and at the ready.

His hearing had vaguely improved, though, and he managed to catch the word 'Hokage', which makes him wince in confusion. "Yeah okay, I have no idea what you just said or what a Hokage is supposed to be-- and frankly? I don't care. Just-- Who are you and what the hell do you want with me?" A beat. "And do you happen to have anything... alcoholic but also consumable... maybe?" Hm.

Edited 2012-11-28 14:27 (UTC)

He dropped his hands, just watching him as he retreats before lifting a hand to touch his neck, checking for any blood. Upon finding none, he simply shook his head and dropped his hand back to his lap, letting the older man, and it was obvious to him now that he -was- older, have the space he so clearly desired.

He was fairly certain, from the look he was getting, that he needed to explain a bit more clearly and assume the man knew nothing about anything, even if he -did- seem to recognize him. Perhaps he was a civilian trained person from a nin-shinobi village in his timeline?

But he would still know what a Hokage was, even then. "A Hokage is one of the five Kages of the Elemental countries. There are dozens of Shinobi Villages, of course, but only a handful are powerful enough to boast being strong enough warrant having a Kage. I am essentially the military commander of my country where the Diamyo is the civilian leader in all matters outside Shinobi affairs."

The man needed the information, whether he wanted it or not, especially -here-. "I am Uchiha Itachi, seventeen year old Hokage of Konohagakure. In my timeline. Such is not the case in most. As for you... In my timeline I helped you with your suicide at thirteen as one of your eyes had already been stolen and you wished to better aid me in dealing with the politics I ended up right in the middle of by giving me your death. It did not work quite as you hoped, but ultimately it has been useful to me, though I wish that such measures had never been needed as you were my best friend and you have been deeply missed in the last four years."

There was a pause then, and he flushed just a bit. "...I should never have alcohol, and recent events were kind enough to reinforce this point, I apologize."

...Elemental countries. That was all Shisui needed to know that he was most probably stuck in some alternate universe where people who disappeared from the Bermuda Triangle ended up in. This was-- this was phenomenal. But also incredibly annoying because Uchiha Shisui preferred being in the know. It gave him the advantage that way. He was also used to being the cat, not the mouse, and he felt a little like a rabid gerbil right now.

But Shisui listened, with growing amusement and vexation-- and this was not just because he was hard of hearing at the moment. He was reading the other's lips and he heard what little he could hear, but seriously? He tried to stay calm, but the way his lips were set in a thin, hard line, and the way those obsidian eyes fixed on the other's probably gave it all away.

The mention of suicide made him almost flinch at recent memories where he had almost thrown himself in the middle of a raging conflict that would have sealed his fate. And all this had been because he had heard that Itachi's team had been gunned down elsewhere on one of the RAF's missions. He wasn't conscious of the way his free hand pressed over the pocket just over the left of his chest at the memory, though; the one that held that one very precious photograph he hung up on the windshield whenever he flew. And right now he was missing the person in that picture... He was missing him a whole lot.

At the end of the explanation, though, Shisui finally spoke, wiping away soot from his face with the back of his sleeve. "Sorry about your friend, but I'm not who you think I am, and it would be much appreciated if you stop trying to tell me what my life's been like-- when it hasn't been anything like that at all." And as for introductions: "I am Lieutenant Colonel Uchiha Shisui of the United States Air Force, and the only Uchiha Itachi I know is Group Captain Uchiha Itachi of Great Britain's Royal Air Force. We met five years ago, and-- he can hold in quite a bit of alcohol."

Over to the East, however, Shisui spots a town. "Well. I guess if you don't have any good stuff on you, I better go out there and get some for myself. Do you guys accept American Dollars? I have a few English pennies too, though."

Edited 2012-11-28 19:51 (UTC)

"You're not -my- Shisui, I'll grant you that readily enough, but you're still Shisui. Timeline changes, entire -world- changes, wouldn't make you not yourself at the heart of things. I've seen that with more than enough clarity in my... recent travels... to know without doubt that -that- at least, is a constant."

His lips quirked and he hitched a shoulder in a shrug as he pushed back to his feet. "A pleasure to meet you Shisui. This place, I should warn you, is far more like -my- home than yours, and if you are not actually a shinobi, well. Do not be stunned if many even younger than I give you dubious looks if you try to threaten them as you attempted to threaten me."

He waved down from the cliff. "I'll treat you if you can't actually use your currency, though you would be the first to have met trouble."

"Yeah? I'm not 'your' Shisui so it probably wasn't necessary to tell me 'I' committed suicide and left you missing 'me' for four years." It was a sore topic with him; one he'd rather not think about. "And wow what makes you think I'd go around messing with the little people? I mean, maybe I'd do something about them trying to be all familiar with me -- if everyone around here is like you -- but I don't think I'd send their heads rolling with a poke of my fingers or something." He sent a few heads rolling back on that mission he was on three years ago. Shhh, don't ask. Madara had taught him how to do that.

At the invitation, however, he shrugged, still suspicious, and opted to slide down and sit against the rock for a moment to try and adjust his pants leg instead, rolling it up and accidentally peeling a good chunk of skin along with it. "Whoops-a-daisy..." Shisui barely felt any pain at all, and he hadn't even flinched or noticed his leg until he saw the pink and blood and fluid seeping out. Not feeling pain was definitely not a good thing under these circumstances...

He stared at him a moment, then made a rather aggrieved noise and knelt beside him, immediately pulling a container from a pocket on his leg. "I've found it easier to impart in direct fashion rather than going 'my version of you' when sharing such details. As you're clearly alive, it cannot be true of you. Unless, of course, you're one of those who -did- die before arriving? In which case I will apologize for prodding at sore topics."

He twisted the cap off, revealing a dense cream before he set the jar aside,all business as he moved to check the extent of the damage. My Shisui's talents were speed and illusion, not long distance decapitation. I leave things like that to the wind users in the village, thank you."

"Maybe you didn't have to tell me anything. Ever think about that?" He's folding back his pants leg so that his wound's not leaking all over. Gross. "We could have been like 'Hey!' and 'Hey, who are you and do you know where I could get some beer?' And it would have been the start of a beautiful friendship~ Also no, I haven't died. Not that I recall."

Wait. Have a weird look, because now you've got him thinking along the lines of c-r-a-z-y, Itachi. "Not that it's something normal people would recall." He is very normal, thank you very much.

"Speed and illusions, hm? I don't know about illusions, but my baby's the fast one." He looks to the burning wreckage in the distance. "Miss her already."

And Shisui is totally walking on ahead. "No more hocus pocus. Got a real doctor around here somewhere? And I'm thirsty."

"We have an apothecary, but I haven't actually -seen- anyone who would qualify as a proper medic-nin yet. I told you because your timeline seems very... strange. Most at least know the basics of Shinobi life that I've come across here, unlike yourself. Not knowing at least basic details about this sort of thing can be dangerous for you, and not knowing what others expect when they see you can be just as bad."

He collected his things, moved after him, and grabbed the back of his shirt. "Sit. You're getting burn cream on that before you get an infection to set in."

Apothecary? Seriously...? "Apothecary? How many centuries back are we talking here? I'm from the year 2010." Hold on. Would this actually be where the lost World War Two soldiers ended up after they disappeared off the face of the earth flying over the Bermuda Triangle? That wasn't even a century ago, but it still seemed like ages. Except the other man was talking about that shinobi thing again and Shisui had no idea what that was.

"So... What's shinobi life like?" Was this shinobi land and were the natives shinobians? Did they speak shinobese? So many questions.

And woah there. You did not grab his shirt. This is Shisui almost getting that lightning fast tornado kick to meet Itachi's face, but then stopping short with his foot still in the air, debris having risen all over them and still settling even if he was as still as ever. How he managed to control himself enough to stop that kick from meeting the side of the other's head, he has no idea. But he does realize that he'd only been overreacting, and promptly brings his foot down, staggering a bit to overcome the inertia of that move. "Sorry-- Just. Don't do that without warning, yeah?" Reflexes. But still, if you were wondering about how fast he was, that was his beginner level...

But one look at that cream and Shisui is shaking his head vehemently. "Er nope, I'm good." It's pretty bad; he's afraid of fingers squishing their way through burned flesh. "Let's go get something to drink. I can pour it on there and everything will be sterile." Good plan?

ooc: rofl oops! used the wrong account and had no idea >___> My bad xD

If anything, the counterattack seemed to ease some of the worried tension that had been in Itachi's frame. "So you -do- have some self defense abilities. Good. Now. Sit. This is burn cream that any Uchiha with a brain learns how to make as a small child, so let me tend to the burn." He narrowed his eyes. "I have no doubt in my mind that if I need to I could wrestle you into it, but I'd rather not -need- to."

He had let go of him though. "A shinobi life is one of battle, mostly, but there are always the oddball missions for the young ones like fence painting and babysitting. Precursers for bodyguarding and the like. I believe we're better known in civilian circles as ninja?"

(OOC: No worries, these things happen and I thought it might have been intentional ::coughs:: guess not. I've seen -that- Shisui before though! Never threaded with you before this though I think.)

"...I'm in the armed forces, what did you expect?" Jeez, just because he wasn't flailing around throwing bombs at ya. He would have fought, but he's not interested in pitching a fight upon arrival when he could get directions to a pub <3 "And I have a fully functional brain, thank you very much. And it's just a second degree burn. I won't get gangrene." Not yet, but soon, of course. But he does lean against that rock and roll up his pants leg.

And Shisui just-- Watch as he blinks and tries to comprehend what he's reading off your lips, Itachi. "You've got to be kidding me. Ninja? No frikkin' way!" Actually, he's rather excited by the prospect. "So do you have shuriken and poof off in a cloud of smoke and make clones of yourself?"

Shisui watches anime... We're off to a wonderful start here |8

ooc: That one is canon!Shisui XD All of 15/16 years old. I also play him blind, in the event that he faked his death and er-- never really died. That was redundant <.<' Played him at Niteo Nix for a bit :3

"Smoke is an indicator that you put too much chakra into your jutsu, actually." It was a murmur as he crouched, re-opening the jar and examining the wound for debris first before anything else. If it was just burns, on the cream would go.

"I prefer kunai to shuriken. Sasuke is the one who is -truly- fond of straight shuriken but, well, swords. As for clones, yes, that's simple enough, if a bit draining. The 'poofing' as you put it, was your specialty, my you that is."

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[OPEN~] Bollocks

You're the first Shisui I've gotten to bounce him off, I care not how AU he is!

he is so very AU... and old-ish

Haha, hey, Itachi's Shisui has been dead for ages. He's happy to see one.

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/crawls back on here >_> sorry, had to run around while I got legal docs sorted

No worries, life happens!

=D

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