one_long_mission | (no subject)

Entry tags:

(no subject)

[ Whoops-a-daisy. Looks like someone suddenly cannot hear. He's in a restaurant, trying to figure out where he can order a burger and fries, talking way too loud at the manager. ]

I'M SORRY! CAN YOU HEAR ME?! I NEED TO KNOW WHERE I CAN GET A BURGER AND FRIES. LIKE AT MCDONALD'S! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS? YOU GOTTA KNOW! IT WAS HERE BEFORE THE SECOND WORLD WAR-- IN THE 1940'S. IT'S BIG AND RED WITH A BIG YELLOW M! SIMPLE M! IT LOOKS LIKE THIS!

[ He draws said 'm' in the air with his finger, but good grief, he can't hear a thing! He can't even hear himself! He doesn't even know if he's speaking English anymore. Oh no; that reminds him of something. ]

DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?! HELLOOO! I NEED. TO FIND. BURGERS. HAMBURGERS. IT'S-- IT'S A MEAT PATTY BETWEEN TWO BUNS AND SOMETIMES YOU GET CHEESE IN IT. AND POTATOES. DEEP FRIED POTATO CHIPS.

[ Apparently one of the employees recognizes potatoes and happens to hold up a few for Shisui to see. At that, Shisui nods excitedly, beaming because somebody understands! ]

YES! YES, POTATOES!

[ Except the manager is now telling his employee to bag a few potatoes and put it on Shisui's bill. He takes it back. Nobody gets it! ]

NO, NO I DON'T WANT YOUR POTATOES! NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PLACE?!

DO YOU KNOW COCA-COLA??

[ Halp |: ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ He's still too engrossed in missing his 'baby' to point out the differences between a kicking, screaming, snotty-nosed child and a B1-B. Also, he wasn't looking at her, so he didn't hear her-- ]

She was the most gorgeous thing I ever beheld.

[ Don't mind him. He'll just sigh dramatically and flop down onto the grass, crossing his legs under him and looking up into the sky, squinting in the direction of the sunlight and smiling in recollection. ]

We soared through the wide open spaces, just me and her. And it was like the heavens belonged to us, and we were air.

[Alarmed was not too large a word for the look on her face, and she was just... staring in mute horror that he was a parent. Not that it was BAD but....]

[ Cue more reminiscing and sighing and staring at the big blue sky before he finally turns to look at her... ]

Woah, what's up 'Tachi?

You have a CHILD?! [Totally aghast now yep.]

Who is the mother?

Wha--?! [ WAS HE READING HER LIPS RIGHT?! Child? Him? What?

Wait.

OH. CUE LAUGHTER. ]

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! NO WAY! I WAS TALKING ABOUT MY AIRCRAFT AHAHAHA!

Oh man, you're funny. But hey. What's wrong with me being a father, huh? You looked like that could possibly be the most horrible thing. Think I haven't got it in me, huh? Not Daddy material~?

Where I'm from you're my boyfriend okay?! I have a vested interest!

[ ....a-ah?

He's gotta pause mid-sentence there. ]

...Where I'm from, I'm your boyfriend too. [ Well er-- ]

Only we're much older.

...And responsible. [ AHEM. ]

... Okay I'm actually surprised to hear that given I'm pretty sure that my Shisui is only dating me to keep everyone else from thinking they can.

[She shifted on her feet.]

Even if I do make him act like a real boyfriend.

O... kay [ His alternate self was quite the interesting character, apparently ] ...What the hell is wrong with the guy? |:

Then again, how old are you? You look a bit young to be dating.

[She lifted her chin slightly.] Thirteen, but given my rank it's not shocking that I have suitors. It's understandable he's protective given how close we are.

Thirteen-- Jesus. You got time to think about relationships at thirteen? What happened to comic books and Pokemon and homework and hangin' with the guys-- I mean. Where'd you find the time?

See, when I started dating my first girlfriend, I was seventeen. We were good for about four, maybe five, years. Then she turned into a bitch and it was all over but that's beside the point-- Woah. Thirteen and 'suitors'? Do people still use that word? Sounds serious if you ask me.

Edited 2013-05-09 09:13 (UTC)

Considering I can die on any mission, it's understandable. [She hitched up a shoulder.]

And some men in the clan are far more... patriarchal minded than others and I am the clan head's daughter. It's... irritating.

Well yes, I get that. [ Except the part where she mentions she's the clan head's DAUGHTER.

He's staring at her chest now. And at her crotch. He's looking for some sort of man-part in there. ]

...I'm sorry, did you say 'daughter'?

...... [Oh the look she's giving you, if her sharingan had been on you would have been a dead man. Still, she waits for you to look at her FACE again.]

Yes, did you fail to notice?

[ He did catch that when he glanced up at her face, but he's back to staring at her chest now. ]

Well, no. It's not like your boobs are perky and prominent yet. Why would you want to date someone without boobs-- [ ER. He's not sure if that last bit was loud enough but he does regret saying that @_@ ]

[She slipped forward two steps, then reached to catch his wrists, looking... strangely zen and not angry?]

....

I'm sorry, did you want to dance? [ Wait a minute, why was she grabbing his wrists?? ]

Not perky and prominent? [Her look was rather arch, then she planted his hands on her chest and just stared him down. Yes she was small, but all of her was small, but there was definitely something there. Her clothes were just loose.]

I don't know about perky, but not promin-- OH MY GOD WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?! [ And somewhere in the middle of that horrified sentence Shisui yanked his hands away from her grip and hasily got to his feet, jumping a good distance away from her and wiping his hands down on his fatigues like he'd just touched something nasty. ]

DIDN'T YOUR DADDY TELL YOU NOT TO LET OLDER MEN PUT THEIR HANDS ON YOU, LITTLE GIRL?! I'M NINE YEARS OLDER THAN YOU-- OLD ENOUGH TO BE YOUR FATHER.... [ No, wait. He got the math wrong. ] No, not really. BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT. WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!

[She crossed her arms, clearly not disturbed by the whole thing and looking... amused.]

You're still Shisui. You wouldn't do anything to me.

[ abkjdcblsnbc WHAT? ]

Oh yeah? Well I still-- I FEEL VIOLATED, OKAY? [ Like WOAH |8 ]

[Both her eyebrows arched at that.]

Then you have my deepest apologies. [Here Shisui, have a proper bow of apology too once she's sure you saw what she said.]

Th-th-th-th!! That's not gonna cut it! I'm going to need years of therapy now! Do you have any idea how much that's going to costme? It's not coming out of my insurance either. My boss knows I'm fraternizing with your older-- manlier... beefier... sexier... self...

[She peeked at him through her hair, then sighed and went to a full kneel. It was a rash action, but she hadn't thought he'd find it so disturbing. More the fool her.]

[ And he was going on about how much therapy he was going to need until he notices what she's doing and immediately feels awkward. ]

Hey hey hey woah! Hey hey, Itachi, don't-- [ He's kneeling too, trying to make her get up. ] You don't have to do that, okay? I'm not going to need years of therapy, maybe just a day or two-- maybe never.

Hey. [ Looking right into her eyes. ] I just assumed you were a guy because both other Itachi's I've met were guys and I just-- I mean, the only Itachi I've known is a guy, so...

But it's cool if you're a girl, and you erm-- don't have to prove anything to me, y'know? You're only thirteen. Give it another two years and maybe my hand would actually fit around your-- [ Oh no, he'll shut the hell up now. ] Uhh-- Eheheh |: